In this powerful 30-minute continuation of last week’s conversation, Johnny Crowder—vocalist for the metal bands Dark Sermon and Prison, as well as a dedicated mental health advocate—shares how he navigates life with multiple mental health diagnoses. From severe anxiety and OCD to schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, Johnny reflects on how these conditions intertwined, with depression standing out as the most debilitating force of all.
Johnny opens up about the life-altering events that closed out his 2024: losing his home to a hurricane, the end of a valued relationship, and major changes in his music career.
He describes how depression isn’t just sadness but a pervasive “universal ambivalence”—a gray fog that strips meaning from everything, even the things that once brought joy.
With raw honesty, deep insights and occasional humor, Johnny shares the strategies he’s developed to push back against depression’s lies, including reaching out to trusted friends for evidence that recovery is possible and practicing self-compassion inspired by Eckhart Tolle’s teachings.
His metaphor of depression as the force that prevents you from even pressing an “easy button” to fix your life will resonate deeply with anyone who has struggled to find motivation in their darkest moments.
If you’ve ever felt stuck, hopeless, or convinced that things will always be this way, this episode is a must-listen. Johnny’s vulnerability and insight remind us that while depression can feel inescapable, it is a symptom—not a truth—and recovery is always possible.
TEDx Talk: Why I Don’t Want to Die Anymore:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e612-OTu-SA
TEDx Talk: How to Grow as a Person (and Why it Sucks)
https://www.ted.com/talks/johnny_crowder_how_to_grow_as_a_person_and_why_it_sucks
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