My Impossible Task (one of them anyway)

It would be inaccurate to suggest I have An Impossible Task. I have many. Washing dishes and putting away clean clothes are often on the list.

But the one that takes over my house, is filing. As the producer of the Giving Voice to Depression podcast, I’ve interviewed hundreds of people. Each interview gets translated. And printed. Then I write and print the episode, which sometimes takes a few versions to get it right.  There’s usually an article or some research I print to reference during the interview as well. And that’s a lot of paper. A LOT of paper. In a very little house. (And yes, I understand computer files. I’m just old school.)

I want it all to be organized. It would be so cool to open a file drawer, go to the “season 12” section and pull out a specific episode.

But it’s more likely that the interview and file folder I’m looking for are in a box near the filing cabinet. (Credit for getting close?) Or in a pile on my desk. And when depression factors in, they could be on the floor, to be honest.

Enter My Understanding Friend.  She doesn’t have depression. Nor does she appear to struggle with organization and clearing her ever-full to-do list. But she knows I do. And a few times a year she comes over. And takes over.

Everything comes out of the boxes and gets spread across the floor. And then, with her help, every article, interview and note gets put in an episode file folder, which actually gets… wait for it… filed!

In this week’s podcast, our guest Molly used the phrase “what a gift” to describe a friend stepping in to get us over our mental hurdles. And I wholeheartedly agree! MB is my gift. And I am her dear friend. Not a lazy, messy mentally-ill person. Not a burden. A valued friend. She knows that as soon as we post an episode (every Tuesday!) I start working on the next one. Could I put the previous episode in the file cabinet first? Yes, it sure sounds like something I “should” be able to do.  But you just saw the reality of it. Sometimes I need help. And I do not confuse that with my worth anymore. It’s ok to need help. And it’s great to offer it when we can.